oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
