I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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