she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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