Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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