either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
