just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
