I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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