she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
