i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
