I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
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I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
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I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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