I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's never too late to be topless.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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