Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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