There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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