walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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