every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he fucked my hip out of place.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
