just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize