i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
