is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
