You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
