the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
