I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize