You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
