But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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