whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
