butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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