Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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