When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
