I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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