me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
