I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
