You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I enjoy the company of your penis
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
