watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
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The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
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I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?