i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock