people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it