Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.