I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
