thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
