Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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