Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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