Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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