I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
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when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
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Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize