Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
True strength comes from lack of pants
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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