Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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