This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize