69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
