we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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