I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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