I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
