your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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