Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
