it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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