My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
