Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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