just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
