so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
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when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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