Tell her she can't have a vagina
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
