I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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