Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
