I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
