Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
