its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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