Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
