I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
