He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
